"Tum bahut khubsurat ho" in Mexico!

My husband & I just got back from a beach vacation at Cancun, Mexico. What a great break it was - beautiful beaches, perfect weather, interesting mix of culture, and the food was to-die-for!

Coming back very satisfied from our vacation, I wanted to make a few comments about how impressed I was with what we saw/did at Cancun & the few neighboring places we visited. Agreed Cancun is developed solely because of tourism, but the people in the city are genuinely helpful & courteous.

We went there with our guard raised very high because of all the warnings posted on US travel websites about the drug cartels, mafia, robbery, etc. First of all, we felt very safe. Cancun is so touristy, there is no other way to describe that city. Everyone knows you are a tourist, and treats you well. The local people welcome tourists because tourism is their bread & butter. They know one wrong doing is enough to stir a lot of negative spot light. We felt safe enough to not only walk around in the hotel zone (designated zone for the all-inclusive resorts, expensive touristy shopping plazas with the Louis Vuittons & Guccis, and flea markets that only sell $$ marked up memorabilia), but also use the local transport & walk the streets of downtown & find some very cool Mexican cuisine restaurants that weren't americanized.

At first most vendors & restaurateurs would greet us in spanish. Then when we responded Hola! in our confused accent, they would start talking more Spanish than our cheat sheet would allow us to understand!

Downtown (old) Cancun reminded me of Bangalore, India and how it was about 15 years ago. Small vendors at every nock & corner, yumm street food, and gardens everywhere in the city. Cancun was better in the sense that their public transport was far more sophisticated, and the decency of the local population (I mean the men, no letching, no boob grabbing, nobody trying to follow u home!) is commendable. One thing that was kinda ooh-la-la was the PDA. These young 20 something's could not keep their hands off each other - on the bus, on the street corners, in the mall, at the restaurant... they needed to get a room!

And oh yes, I have to comment about how everyone knew we were Indian! When we're in the US, my husband & I get mistaken to be Mexican (never a good thing!) ever so often. But it was a welcome change that the local Mexicans knew we were Indian. They would say Namaste every opportunity they had, lol! So much so, that the officer at the port of entry spoke to us in Hindi. He said Namaste & we were like, “Oh wow very cool”. Until he started spitting out full sentences like "Tum bahut khubsurat ho" and then, "bas, masthi karro". With those lines he managed more hindi than my husband!

It's a great place, put it on your agenda! Come back with more than just a tan and a bottle of Mexican tequila; the hand crafted antiques, hot sauce, and a visit to Chichen Itza is recommended. Hasta luego!

Dream your own dream

As part of my random reading efforts, I read this article this morning about how working moms are more emotionally healthy than stay at home moms. (I know, the stuff that I chance upon these days is wild! The thing is, I try to stay away from all the Ron Paul & American political crap, steer away from technology articles, then from reality shows’ gossip, so that doesn’t leave me with much reading material now, does it?) The ideal balance was part-time working moms, who were emotionally satisfied and yet available to their kids. It was based off a recent survey from the American Psychological Association, printed in its December (I think) journal, and you can check the facts there. But the consensus was that being socially isolated by not working at all, led to some sort of depression and that in turn led to unhappy events or health issues.

Before you jump to conclusions, no, kids are not around the corner. My husband & I have to first stop being kids ourselves.

Anyway, going back to the survey findings, it also continued to say that mom’s greatly influence their daughter’s choice of being a working mom or stay at home mom. They advocate and support their choice to the extent that almost all working moms’ daughters were also working moms, and stay at home moms’ daughters were also stay at home moms. And this is where I started to relate to this article.

Ever so often when I talk to my mom, who is a stay at home mom by the way, we run into these discussions (errrrr, arguments is a more appropriate word). She strongly advocates the pleasures of being a domestic engineer (yes, that’s another word for stay at home mom) and not feeling guilty about addressing your child’s needs or schooling etc. And then there is that assurance that you will always be there to see him/her take the first step, say their first words, and so on. And I say that’s great, and in her defense, she did an excellent job of always being there for my sister and me – I love you mother for that and more. But my argument is that being around a crying child 24/7 would make you a bit insensitive, wouldn’t it? I’m no expert in child care, and I certainly am not a mom yet, but I know I’ll have to make that decision myself someday.

(P.S: these discussions don’t take into account the relevance of an additional income and other economic scenarios.)

And why can’t there be a balance between being that nurturing parent and also having a career? Wanting a social life, a career, and a dream can’t be that wrong? Especially when you have a husband who is ‘child’ friendly. In fact, I argue that stepping out of the house a few days of the week, gives you something to accomplish other than play dates, helps you build a social circle, brings in more ideas (ideas to do with even children’s games, child care, lessons, etc) than you would just sitting home alone with your offspring.

Mothers of the previous generation, "to make your daughter’s feel like its right or wrong one way or the other, is not your job. Giving mothering advice is your job, but stop dreaming your child’s dream." I know my mother will support my decision either way, but I also know other moms who won’t do the same for their daughter. And I’ve become a strong advocate of not being trapped by dogma, i.e not to waste one’s life by living someone else’s dream, or living with the results of other people's thinking (thanks for that definition of dogma, Steve Jobs). One life to live, so come on, carpe diem!

Disclaimer: I’m not supporting one way or the other, infact I have friends and family who are working moms and stay at home moms, and both groups are happy with their respective decisions. It’s about finding what works for you. But I am campaigning for the ladies to find the courage to dream their own dreams.

If I didn’t lose you along the course of this lengthy post, happy new year to you and your loved ones! May 2012 be everything you want it to be, and more. Cheers!

A week with my purple umbrella

New York City, aaaah you gotta love it! Gives you the best of the best, be it food, theatre, shopping, nightlife, you name it, there is pretty much nothing you can't find/do in this city (except cheap apartment rentals).

I've visited this amazing island many times before, and done the touristy things time & again; cause my parents never get tired of

the Architecture tour, Empire state building, Chrysler Building, Battery park & the Statue of Liberty, Times Square, Ground Zero, Rockerfeller Center, NYU, Columbia, the Brooklyn Bridge, and the other routine attractions. But this last time I travelled to NYC with my Ganda, actually, I should say, I was taken on a surprise vacation to NYC for my birthday. And what a week it was! (Note to Sachin: thank you much, but good luck trying to beat this birthday gift next year!)

The highlights of my vacation are many many. But the food we ate there was a real treat! I'm going list some worthy mentions, and for those of you who haven't tried these out yet, put them on your to-do list in NYC.

Lombardi's pizza in Little Italy
The Meatballs Shop in East Village
In Korea town, any of those tiny authentic restaurants are incredible
Chinese mirch on Lexington ave
Bhojan on Lexington ave (I'm not an advocate of vegetarian food, but god this place is great for some wholesome vegetarian Indian food & chat)
The New York bagel at many of those brunch places, we went to Fetch (btw, @ Fetch, you can bring your pet dogs to brunch, adorable is it not?)
Desserts, oh desserts... The NYC cheesecake at Juniors, White & black cookies at Whole foods, Momofuko, Pinkberry, I couldn't have had enough chocolate!
And a special mention to this amazing katti roll place (can't remember the name cause it was in the wee hours of the morning), the halal karts, those tiny cupcake shops... all of which came to our rescue during our random bouts of hunger!

We didn't really dine at the ultra-plush sit-down restaurants, cause we never made reservations in time, and thought we should save some things for our next visit!

Ofcourse what rounded off our excess consumption of food, was the excess consumption of alcohol! I've to mention the special birthday celebration at Plunge, visits to the NYC brewery's & beer gardens, Kush, The wine bar, and some other places whose names just fail my memory right now.

Now come on we didn't just eat & drink. We needed company to enjoy all this amazing food :P A shout out to all our New York peeps who took the time to entertain us. Some other things that made this trip memorable are: a whole week of continuous rain, my lost iPhone, the Farmers Market in Union square park, hilarious conversations with the cab drivers, a trip to Edison & Newport, a complete tour of the beautiful central park by a relatively new new yorker, a very alive times square at midnight, pajama parties, girls night out, rekindled old friendships, and ofcourse the shopping extravaganza & a maxed out credit card! Hallelujah!

Ikea knows best...

... how to drive u crazy!

2 chipped finger nails, 2 mugs of coffee, power drills, complaining neighbours, 50 song playlist on the iPod, & a patient husband is what it took to assemble 1 chest of drawers & 1 wall mirror.
And were not handicap or stupid, the damn instruction booklet is made for monkeys. They list 1 line in English (& then about 27 more languages) - like - oh btw, we didn't include wall screws. But hey, where is the warning that u are going to lose your mind before you're done assembling your purchase?!? (note to Ikea: tiny disclaimer missing!?!)

Don't get me wrong, I love the place for it's swank & affordable buys, but seriously - what the hell -

my chest of drawers cost $100 bucks & we put in $200 bucks worth of labor into it??? For $300 I think I could have a bought myself a much more ornate pre-assembled chest of drawers.

You ask yourself the routine question - bang for your buck? I think I'm blinded by the possibility of using those 200 bucks to shop for other accessories versus labor (especially when you have a patient husband). But once u assemble that chest and lose your sanity, you tell yourself never again... only until you drive by Ikea again!

Weed is organic

Weed is organic --- so it's ok to smoke it?
India's roads are already littered --- so it's ok to throw that gum wrapper?
True friendship allows distance --- so it's ok to never ever call?
Pets don't bite --- so it's ok to cross dress them for Halloween?

Your credit card statement doesn't arrive for another 21 days --- so it's ok to address that urge to splurge?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas --- so it's ok to fulfil that Hugh Hefner 'type' fantasy?

*ahem, you need to draw that moral line sooner than later*

My own personal dilemma---
Like chocolate, wine is good for you --- so the calories don't count? For either? ;)
(answer: definitely affirmative)

Celebrating Sachin :)

After a 6 month hiatus, I'm gonna try & rekindle that appetite to write useless crap again. Reading all those beautiful crafted articles about Indian cricket, Sachinism, sportsmanship, and patriotism, has made me all nostalgic and is awakening that spark to self express once again. (Psssstt, I've got a couple more posts typed out in my head, just have to transfer them onscreen, soon OK, pretty soon…)

And oh, b-t-w – I’m back as a Mrs now. So if your reading my blog just to find out my whereabouts to hit on me, no point dude, may as well save yourself some time and read some other pretty girl’s blog.

It truly was (and still is) sad that we (newly wed Dhampathigallu) couldn’t be home to be part of these awesome celebrations, but heck, make the best of the situation, right? {My Gandu wanted to travel back just to watch the finals live, cause cricket & Sachin Tendulkar are on top of list, even before moi (no, I’m not kidding, & I’ve come to terms with it, so you will have to as well!), but as luck would have it, we couldn’t travel cause of visa issues :( } So ever since the schedule of matches came out, I’d been hoping & praying that the world cup final (which coincided with my Gandu’sbirthday) would include India vs. whichever X team. And when India kicked some Pakistan booty, I was on my way to execute a themed out birthday party! What’s the theme you ask? Sachin Tendulkar and some Indian World Cup extravaganza thrown in with that. Bleeding blue all the way: blue jello shots, blue beer, blue cake (a Sachin Tendulkar one that too); India flags, India posters, and some new blue apartment decor!

So, as all the Indians celebrated Sachin Tendulkar & the Indian Team, I wanted to celebrate my hero, Sachin Mahesh. And what a fun celebration it was! Of course the icing on the cake was India bringing theWorld Cup home, and giving a billion of us Indians reason to rejoice.

What ruined the icing on Sachin’s face – was the cops showing up at our door. Twice. Let’s just say, it was a dawn to remember.

Signing off with a very respectable memo to my neighbors, “We’re NOT sorry about the noise. I had intimated you 3 days in advance. India doesn’t win the world cup that often, and grown men don’t shed tears that often either, so kindly stick your attitude elsewhere.”

[Gandu = the equivalent of my man/prince charming in Kannada

Dhampathigallu = the equivalent of Husband & wife couple in Kannada]

Shopping at Kanchipuram…

… or Thambi land, as I like to call it…. is a hot & sultry experience. The city is filled with men in lungis, sarvabhavans, and people who can’t give decent directions.

We were trying to find our way by looking for the famous Kanchipuram Arch, I beg your pardon, its called arse in the local lingo. Cause when we were lost and kept asking ‘the tambis’ for the arch, they kept saying arse, and in response we said, “no no,arch”… Our so-called sophisticated accent caused us to waste half a tank of gas!

Finally we found the silk emporiums (or call them megastores) we wanted. And so began the shopping… On Day 1 we bought (only ;) ) 49 sarees and yes, I did have nightmares of being attacked by the sarees that night. All colors, all designs, all weaves, all patterns, and even price tags looked the same to me after seeing about 1 million of them. And it was hard to choose…especially when your shopping for friends and family who have a refined taste. If I thought that my cousin would like a particular saree, my sister thought otherwise.

But complaining aside, going to Kanchi is a wedding tradition. And it sure does save you the bucks when your buying 50+ sarees. I didn’t find my “exclusive” bridal sarees. Rather I found them, but wasn’t convinced. So I dragged my parents & in-laws to Chennai to the infamous Kumarans, Nalli, Tulsi, Sundari, etc. After visiting all of the above, I finally picked my sarees at one of the Kumarans. Did I come away happy – I think so. At the end of it all, you just hope that you look all bridal in what you perceived as bridal at the time.

So the total on Day 2 was 8 sarees. Day 1 + Day 2 = 58 kanchi sarees & 20 silk dhotis. And mind you, that’s only half of the collective shopping. I’m only counting what my parents bought. Double that and you get what the two sides of my family brought from Kanchi & Chennai.

Booming industry you would think, but it’s a pity to see that such beautiful sarees are being replaced in the new-age Indian woman’s wardrobe by the shiffons and embroidery crapes. I like those sarees too, but these kanchi sarees tell a tale… of our heritage, our ethnicity, our royalty, our celebrations, and our south-Indian pride.

So yes, I will be dressed in kanchi sarees at my wedding, changing about 15 different expensive kanchi sarees in a span of 5-6 days. So help me god!

- Signing away as an excited bride-to-be (my family has already started calling me bridezilla, but they are just being mean)!

P.S: Pardon the picture quality. It was a gloomy day and that was the best I could do with my iPhone camera.

It's gotten busy!

Between work, saree/jewelry shopping, trying to hit the gym 4 times a week, my sister relocating to a different city, renovations at home, people around me falling sick, traffic jams (thanks to evening rains – P.S: I know I didn't complain when made my previous post :P ), scouting for wedding ideas, meeting friends & family, and excel sheets (sadly, the control freak in me will not rest until I have an organized POA, list of things to do, guest list, etc) - its all bought me to the edge of my seat.

My parents are relatively calm though, when I squeak that time is running out – “100 days is a lot of time,” they tell me. So I try to chill. But the effort is failing… miserably!

So though there is a ton of exciting stuff to write about, really, I’ve just not had the disposition to do so! :(

Monsoons in Bengaluru

Smell that rain? It’s a smell I absolutely adore! There's something nostalgic about it… reminds me of all the times that I’ve gotten drenched in the rain as a kid, made paper boats and watched them drown along the footpath steams, played lagori in the rain, caught hailstones and eaten them, and most recent memories of drinking hot coffee and eating even hotter bondas in the rain.

In the US, cloudy days were never welcome. The gloomy skies put everyone in a not-so-upbeat mood. But in B’lore, it hardly matters. Life goes on, and the rain has little to do with people’s emotions. If anything it adds frustration to the drivers on the road, but for a lot that is already frustrated, it can’t do much!

Infact, the city has cooled down so much, that this monsoon is a welcome change in the weather. And I was able to throw on a sweater today, which I haven’t been able to use since January! (I know I sound weird, but I’ve accumulated so many warm clothes staying in Michigan, that I get excited when I finally use them again.) The good thing is that it isn’t as severe as Mumbai’s monsoons, so we get to enjoy it and yet, not suffer as much.

So enjoy this monsoon season fellow Bangaloreans! It’s a great time of the year, unless ofcourse you have an event to host, you have to be somewhere on time, or you live in south B’lore where it floods the living daylights out of your homes.

[Lagori is a street game where you throw a ball at a pile of stones.

Bondas are fried stuffed rolls, best when eaten hot and crisp - that’s the best translation I could come up with – sorry.]

I’ll never take my laptop to bed again, REALLY!

I realized something this week – more than 3 people read my blog (which is a celebration in itself) – but wait, that extra someone actually read my blog and took my post seriously! (To that someone – THANK YOU!!!)

When I wrote that post I was being my usual brazen witty self. I read an article and thought it was an interesting read for others too. But when I got handed an iPad in return, it was one of those GOSH-you-gotta-be-kidding-me moments!!!

So how is this fancy little gadget? It is all that good! I’m an Apple fan yes, but not a gadget junkie.

When you hold that one and a half pounder in your hands, you realize that you are going to get used to a new kind of luxury. And as always, Apple never disappoints. It’s like using your iPhone on a bigger better platform.

The downsides as I see right now are that this release doesn’t have a camera - so I know I’ll want to upgrade later (I have that one complaint against Apple, these upgrades cost me $$$ and think of the e-waste. Apple is proud of it. Seen their new caption for iPhone 4? "This changes everything. Again"); and my 3G iPhone looks ex-gen next to this new iPad.

Even my Dad remarked that it was pretty cool! My Dad checks the news more than he checks his email. So I showed him the WSJ & USA Today apps, he was impressed. Gmail & others, not so much. He wants it every morning between 7-9 am. I told him I’ll think about it…

It fits perfectly into my handbag, and if you are on the move, it substitutes as a pretty good mirror too! I haven’t yet gotten a BSNL sim cause that needs to be converted to a microsim and what not, but it works brilliantly on the wifi. Like we say here in Bangalore, it is bombaat! I also won't be taking my laptop to bed anymore…

My next assignment will be to post from it. Lets see how that goes.

P.S: I was trying to write my wedding journal and to-does in a diary, but hey, wait, I can just jot it down on my new iPad! :D